Frog Jokes and Riddles

Here are some frog jokes and riddles that you might enjoy! If you have a frog joke or riddle that you would like to add to this page, please send it!

Frog Joke I

Here's a joke that was sent to me by Blair. Thanks, Blair!

I just thought you would like the following story...

> If a swamp frog goes ribb-it....ribb-it....ribb-it;
> and a Busch frog goes bud....wis....er;
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> What does an AOL frog sound like?
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> Scroll down! LOL
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> Re-boot Re-boot Re-boot ;-)

Blair Stannard

Frog Joke II

Here's a joke I received from the Joke of the Day:

Subject: 2 Groaners
Reply-to: joker@joker.org

A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told, "You are going to
meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about
you." The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or
what?" "No," said the psychic, "Next term--in her biology class."

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Frog Joke III

Subject: i don't really have a comment but a really cute frog joke

Big print to be said in low bellowing voice

One day a frog was walking walking along and meet a fox he said:
a a
O Hi! My name is wide mouth frog. I eat flies. What do you eat?
The fox said I eat rabbits. Then the frog hopped up to a rabbit and said:
a a
O Hi! My name is wide mouth frog. I eat flies. What do you eat?
The rabbit said carrots.
Then the frog went up to a alligator and said:
a a
O Hi! My name is wide mouth frog. I eat flies. What do you eat?
The alligator said I eat wide mouth frogs. The frog said :

a a
* oh, thats nice (to be said in a tight squenchy voice)

Frog Joke IV

Subject: Frog joke from little town in Missouri
From: "Rod

What is red and green and goes a thousand miles and hour?

a frog in a blender!!!

Frog Joke V

Here's a joke I received through the Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org

A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

Frog Joke VI

Here's a joke that I received through the Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org

The Frog and the Engineer
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An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I`ll turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I`ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I`ve told you I`m a beautiful princess, that I`ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won`t you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look I`m an engineer. I don`t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that`s cool."

Frog Joke VII

Here's a joke I received from Stephanie Messer - thanks!

Two brothers were out in the woods exploring when they came cross a pond. The oldest told the other to in and see how deep it was. So, reluctantly, he went in and a few seconds later, the older brother herd a splash and called out to the younger brother "How deep is it?" He answered back "knee-deep," so the older brother started walking in and a few feet later, he fell in. As they were getting out, the older brother said, "Why did you say it was knee deep?" "I didn't," said the other brother. "Then who did?" Just then, they turned around and saw a laughing frog rolling in the dirt. Stephanie Messer

Frog Joke VIII

Thanks to Wayne Hoelcel for sending me the following:

Subject: Frog and the Prince

(This is a joke I received through the Joke of the Day.)

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess lap and said "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce.

Frog Joke IX

Here's a joke I received 6/18/20 from The Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org

Science Class

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

Frog Joke X

Here's another joke I received 6/18/20 from The Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org

"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno

Frog Joke XI

I received this joke from Blair - thanks!

The Geek

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back in to a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog is cool!

Frog Joke XII

Stupid Frog Joke

Hi! I am enjoying your frog site. It reminded me of a joke my roommate in >college always used. She would go up to someone and say "Ask me if I'm a >frog" when they asked, she would say "NO!" and the stupid look on the other >persons face would make everyone around laugh. It wasn't the joke itself >that was funny, only the reaction to it.

Frog Joke XIII

This joke was in the 1/7/2000 The Original Joke of the Day http://www.joker.org

The Wizard

So there's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot.

This continued until he put up the following sign: "This parking space belongs to the Wizard. ... Violators will be toad."

Frog Joke XIV

I received this joke from Carolyn - thanks!

What did the frog say when asked how his day went?

>keep scrolling >

> keep scrolling

> It was hoppy! (bah dump bum)

Frog Joke XV

Tony sent me this joke. Thanks!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation". Patricia looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure, I have this", and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you, and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral". She holds up the tiny pink elephant and says, "I mean, what the heck is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

Frog Joke XVI

Bud sent me this joke. Thanks!

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."

Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."

Frog Joke XVII

A man asks the waiter, "Do you serve frogs in this restaurant?" Waiter replies, "Of course we do, Monsieur." Then the man takes a frog out of his pocket and says, "Good, my frog wants some soup!" Please credit the joke to www.frog.cc , if you can. Steve

Riddles I

This set of riddles was given to me by someone at work at least 6 years ago. I don't know where they originally came from, but someone made a copy and gave it to me.